Tag Archive | guys

How to talk to guys: a guide to (not) failing at being awkward

1. Don’t make jokes if you are a terrible joke-teller. This also goes for the guys. If you get a “…?” response, don’t make another joke.

2. Don’t reference movies, music, or quotes over 25 years old – unless you know they’ll get what you’re trying to say. Just don’t do it. This also goes for the guys.

3. Talk about your future! Future schooling, future jobs, future destinations… etc.

4. Be serious. Unless they’re joking around. If I want a straight answer, I want a straight answer.

5. Ask questions. Nothing is more awkward than saying “oh yeah I want to be an accountant when I grow up” and having them not respond because you didn’t ask “what about you?” or because, really, what can you say to that?

6. Talk about exotic places. And what you would do if you live there. I don’t know about you, but if I lived in London and had unlimited cash (because my cohort in crime hunted down a leprechaun [to have as a pet] in Ireland and took money from it – uh, haven’t had this conversation before, nope…), I would definitely buy a truck-load of Maltesers and Toblerone.

7. Pretend like you’re talking with a friend. It’s much easier to talk about random stuff (like making London guards laugh and re-naming Jamaica “JAMaica”) than to freak out about saying the wrong thing or not.

Until next time, Em 🙂

Guys really need to get a clue…

First order of business… why do guys never respond to your messages? Like, you’re having this conversation and you’re waiting for a response but it doesn’t come for two days… what’s up with that?! Except for when you’re talking to your guy-friend and you couldn’t care less about the topic and he texts back in 30 seconds. That is the only exception.

Second order of business… there are some very strange guys in band. So maybe you remember Cody? Or… maybe not. I was going to set him up with Shelly, but yeah… that didn’t work too well because (1) I never talk to him and (2) he’s like 5’10” and I’m 5’1/2″… yeah. So he sits up in the first row with me (not the same instrument, but right next to each other), and we were talking before rehearsal started. I always bring in my dinner because I have to get it right before band and I don’t have much time, so I just eat some of it in the car and at band, etc. So last week I brought samosas from my friend’s parents’ restaurant… so delicious. Anyways, last week he was all “can I have some” and I was all “get away from my samosas! They are delicious and all mine!” And this week I had bubble tea (with the jelly, I practically throw up if I get the tapioca) which was delicious btw, and he was asking if the place I got it from was good or not. Pretty normal conversation, yeah? Well, it was not that normal from there on. During break-time, he was talking to me and his stand-partner about how soft his hair is (it’s pretty soft, but he uses gel so you know… anyways) and then he was talking about how his pants were apparently skinny jeans but they weren’t that skinny… yeah he is very strange. Moving on.

Third order of business… male teachers should not be allowed to wear biking shorts on school grounds. I don’t care how good looking you are, guys should never be allowed to wear shorts that short and tight and spandex-y. Never.

Fourth order of business… last year in English class for our final project, we had to write poems and paint a picture to go along with it. I totally BS’d the poem, writing it the night before it was due. I thought it was pretty good, because I fancied it up so it looked like a tree and I even colored it so it looked like branches and everything. Over-achiever, I know. Anyways, some of our class turned it into the National Poem Society or something like that to enter a competition to maybe get published in their newsletter. Well I thought, why not? It’d be pretty cool to get published. So I turned it in and completely forgot about it until a few days ago, when a letter came in the mail, saying that my poem was being published! Of course I forgot all about it, so I was really confused when my mom asked me why I was getting my poem published… anyways. Maybe I’ll upload it sometime.

Until next time, Em 🙂

My friends rock…

Yesterday Lana and I were staying after school because we had a handbell concert… and we decided to dress up in these humongous pants (I could tie them around my neck and wear them as overalls… and I did) and run around in the hall by the faculty meeting. And then we took videos of us pretending to play the handbells and sent them to Megan. It was epic. The handbell concert went horribly, if you were wondering. Nobody played together and apparently no one looked at the conductor for the three pieces we played.

During chemistry class Megan and I were doing a lab, and we already knew what answer we were supposed to get. And when we didn’t get that answer, let’s just say we freaked out. We decided to… tweak our answers a bit… we were total ninjas.

And then when Megan, Mimi, me, and Christy (an exchange student) went to volunteer at a food bank… that’s when it got interesting. Mimi, Christy, and I went up to the loft to bag diapers. Then a shipment of bread came and we had to go unload it. It was pretty epic because we had to throw these bags of bread over our shoulders into this big crate. And I sort of hit Mimi and Christy in the head with the bread. I felt like Peeta. And once that thought popped into my head I started laughing really hard and started flinging the bread like a mad-woman. It was actually hilarious. Then when we were done we came back inside to finish packing the diapers. Well, once we got back up to the loft we noticed a REALLY HOT GUY. Now, I’m not talking cute. I’m talking IT SHOULD BE ILLEGAL TO BE THAT HOT good looking. Christy started staring at him, and saying stuff like “oh my gosh guys” and “I have a perfect view of him”…. but that wasn’t the end of it. Megan was sitting right by him (Later she told us they were actually having a conversation! He’s a senior!) and we were waving at her and miming being hot and pointing at the cute guy. Well let’s just say that HE SAW US. He saw us pointing at him and screaming “Megan! Look!” Oh my word. But that’s not the worst. When we got back to school (we volunteer during one of our classes) Megan told us that she talked to him (as mentioned above) and that he has a gauge in his ear… ew. But he was still super good looking. And apparently there was another guy close to Megan who looked like this cute guy but didn’t have a hole in his ear. I wish I had seen him. Also, a few weeks ago, Christy and Mimi saw this really cute guy, and were screaming about it while stealing brownies from the staff lounge. Now, I saw a cute guy there, but I have no idea if it was the same one (I think it was. He was so good looking.)

Two days ago I had my last band concert. I’m so sad it’s over, but at least I have the summer camp to look forward to!  We played this song where the guy who plays trumpet has an AMAZING SOLO. I seriously stopped breathing. I ordered the DVD, so maybe I can upload it sometime! I’ve decided to start playing trumpet over the summer. I’ve wanted to play ever since 7th grade, but this kid is like my role model, so I’ve decided to finally start.

What are your most awkward stories?

Until next time, Em 🙂