OK, Well I just went to my friend’s Sweet 16! And I was pretty darn excited. And we got to drive in a limo and everything. But seriously, things took a turn for the worst. And when I mean worst I mean THE WORST.

There was really cute guy there, “Swimmer”… and I had met him before, when I went swimming with my friend, her brother, and Swimmer. And we had an epic water splashing fight. Anyways, I was pretty excited because, come on, we’re talking 4 hours with a really cute (yet young guy… seriously, I think he’s old for his grade).

But then, while we were playing Apples to Apples, I met SpongeBob… ya… great. I mean, he wasn’t exactly ugly. I would even say he was kinda cute. I think it was the plaid shirt that lured me in. I mean, sure he is like the biggest perv ever. But come on, I just wanted to talk to him for a few minutes. Well, then my friend got the idea to tell us that we reminded her of each other… Oh no.

And then, when we got to the bowling alley (where the party was at), I was super excited to talk to Swimmer. He was sitting alone, and there is nothing I love more than a shy guy. So I decided that some time that night, I would talk to him. Well, turns out SpongeBob really liked me. And let’s just say the feelings were NOT mutual. I thought he was really creepy.

And then, SpongeBob started flirting with me. And asked for my number. I mean come on, I can just block him, right? Right. So I went on a limb and gave him my number. Crap, now he thinks I like him. And everyone was trying to set us up… saying we would be perfect together. Ya… if he had a different personality.

So then after the party, my friend asked me if I liked him, and of course I didn’t, so I told her the truth. And she asked why I didn’t, because he liked me. I really didn’t want to get in a conversation about how creepy he was. So I just kept walking, and it turns out he was right behind us.

But of course that didn’t stop him from trying to sit next to me in the limo ride home. And thankfully my friend said “move, I’m sitting here” and sat in between us. And then it got worse.

SpongeBob and my friend started talking about their favorite movies, and my friend said “Human Centipede.” If you haven’t heard of it, DON’T LOOK IT UP. REALLY. IT IS SCARRING. And while they were talking about making a human centipede (with themselves, ew), I was really wishing that I could be sitting next to Swimmer. Because this guy was a serious creep.

And now he has my number. Well… let’s see how that goes! Maybe I’ll ask Swimmer to come play tennis with us sometime, hopefully he’s more normal (read: nerdy and non-creepy) 🙂

Until next time, Em


  1. Pingback: The confusing life of Em « How NOT To Talk To Guys

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